Chaos Update: August Edition

This month has been less “summer vibes” and more “trial by fire.” If survival counts as an accomplishment, we’re winning.

Baby Circus 🎪

The smallest human has hit the milestone trifecta: teething, illness, and mobility. He’s sick enough to cough like an old radiator, but not sick enough to stop practicing his new trick — pulling to stand. Usually at 5am, usually in his crib, usually grinning like he’s just broken out of Alcatraz. Add in the biting (tiny shark teeth, full commitment) and we’re living with a smiley land piranha.

Kid Energy ⚡

Meanwhile, the older one has been powered almost exclusively by noise and snacks. Emotional whiplash is the theme of the month: meltdown → hysterical giggles → new meltdown, all before bedtime. Which, by the way, now consistently pushes later and later, because apparently sleep is for quitters. The soundtrack of August is just one long string of negotiations no one is winning.

Parenting One-Liners 🎤

Things I actually heard myself say out loud this month:

• “Did you eat the dog’s food??”

• “I’ll take away the fun.” (Still don’t know what that means, but it worked for a second.)

• “Stop biting the furniture.”

Parenthood is 10% teaching life lessons and 90% saying things you never thought would leave your mouth.

Household Shenanigans 🐝

Two wasp nests appeared in one small tree, because apparently the bugs are also thriving in chaos. Pest control is on speed dial. And while there was a fleeting thought that someone might “just take care of it,” sanity (or gravity) shut that plan down.

Personal Chaos 💇‍♀️

I went full blue hair this month. It’s bright, bold, unapologetic… and already, the impulse to change it is LOUD. My brain apparently treats hair like a mood ring that constantly needs recalibrating. Do I want to go warmer? Darker? Back to magenta? Maybe shave it off and start fresh? The possibilities are endless, the patience is not. Meanwhile, every shower looks like a Smurf crime scene.

Neighbourhood Chronicles 🐕

Of course, nothing says “small-town summer” like awkwardly cordial neighbour encounters. One came courtesy of a runaway dog — polite smiles, quick words, and the ghost of past drama still hanging in the background like humidity.

Final Mood Check ✅

This month has been one long circus act: juggling kids, sleep deprivation, hormones, and rogue wasp colonies while trying not to light my own hair on fire (literally and figuratively). No polished hacks or tidy takeaways here — just proof that sometimes chaos doesn’t need to be fixed. It just needs to be witnessed.

Tune in next month for another episode of Hot Mess: The Suburban Chronicles. Spoiler: it won’t get calmer.

Talk soon,
Tara
CEO of Chaos & Co.