Growing Together

I’ve been with my partner for 15 years.
That’s a long time — long enough that we’ve both changed, more than once.

We started in an apartment, then a townhome, and now the house we call home.
We’ve raised three dogs, a rabbit, a hamster, too many fish to count — and now, two actual humans.
Our kids have stretched us, broken us open, and glued us back together in new ways.

We’ve gone from cars with personality (read: broke down constantly) to more functional adult ones.
We’ve weathered financial strain, emotional trauma, a miscarriage, and a surprise baby.
We’ve tag-teamed nights with no sleep, and argued about who forgot to buy milk.
We’ve changed jobs, priorities, and definitions of “rest.”

And still, we’ve stayed.

We both come from divorce.
He didn’t believe in the institution of marriage.
I romanticized it a little too much — okay, a lot.
So we’ve been engaged for over 10 years now — a perfectly imperfect compromise.
Still not married. Still choosing each other.

And no — we’re not great at the “couple” performance.

We forget date nights.
We don’t do PDA.
Anniversaries sometimes get a “high five” and a shared snack.
But we talk.
A lot. About feelings, fears, motives, parenting, the weird stuff, the vulnerable stuff.
It’s taken therapy, time, and trial to feel safe saying the hard things.
Mostly about myself.
And he listens. Really listens. With love, more often than not.

Do we fight?
Yeah.
Do we get over it?
Yeah.
Because when your core values align, you don’t have to agree on everything — you just have to trust the foundation.

If you’re not the “picture perfect couple”… good.
Neither are we.

Love isn’t about big gestures or matching timelines.
Sometimes it looks like tag-teaming bedtimes, washing the dishes without being asked, and holding space for hard conversations — even when you’re tired.

If you’ve got that? You’ve got everything.

📬 Been with someone through a lot of versions of life? What’s helped you grow together?
Reply and tell me. Or send this to your person and say: “Still us. Still here.”

And if you’re moving through life — or parenting — solo:
I see you. I hold space for you here too.
I don’t believe we’re meant to raise kids alone, or carry everything ourselves.
My hope is that you have someone — a friend, a chosen family, a voice in the dark — who reminds you:
You don’t have to do it all alone.
You deserve support, too.

Talk soon,
Tara
CEO of Chaos & Co.