But I Am Worried

My eldest is the kind of literal where you say, “Don’t worry about it,” and he immediately responds with:

And… he’s right.

Because he is worried.
And telling someone not to feel what they’re already feeling? That’s not comforting — it’s confusing. It’s well-meaning emotional gaslighting. (Sorry, past me.)

He notices everything.
He tracks details like a tiny emotional auditor.
I can’t say “maybe later” unless I mean it.
I can’t casually say “it’s okay” when it’s clearly not.
I’ve had to get better at saying exactly what I mean — because he takes me seriously. And literally. And sometimes at 6:30am.

✨ Tiny Lesson: Say What You Mean

Kids with anxious, sensitive, or possibly neurospicy brains don’t do well with vague language or emotional shortcuts.

So here’s what I’m learning:

• “Don’t worry” isn’t helpful if they already are.

• “It’s fine” rings hollow when their whole body says otherwise.

• “It’s not a big deal” clashes hard with their very big feelings.

I try to offer clearer language now:

It takes more effort.
But it also builds trust — and that feels worth it.

Talk soon,
Tara
CEO of Chaos & Co.