Back in June, I had plans. We were going to have screen time limits, a functioning chore chart, and bedtimes that made sense. I pictured myself as one of those “fun but structured” moms.
Fast forward to August — the tablet has found its way back into tiny hands (we don’t talk about how), the chore chart isn’t choring, and bedtime? It’s just a vague suggestion we sometimes ignore.
We’ve hit the dog days of summer, and it’s not just the heat. The lack of routine is wearing on all of us. Popsicles melt faster than I can hand them out, the floor is sticky from a mystery source, and my eldest’s soundtrack of noises could power a small city.
Meanwhile, my youngest has decided to speed-run babyhood. I planned to baby-proof in the fall during nap time while the oldest was at school. Instead, this week he stood up in his crib. Now I’m racing to lock down the house like a Target at closing time.
Threats I’ve Made This Week
I’ll fart on your face.
I’ll take away the fun.
I’ll add your Labubu to my collection.
Here’s to limping through the last stretch of summer with iced coffee in hand, a bedtime that somehow got later for everyone (including me), and dreams of September schedules.
Your turn: What’s the most unhinged thing you’ve said to your kids this summer? Hit reply and share — I might feature the best ones in a future issue (anonymously, of course).
Talk soon,
Tara
CEO of Chaos & Co.