The scariest part of PMDD isn’t the rage or the exhaustion — it’s the loss of control.
On Monday, it felt like my mind wasn’t mine. I snapped at everything. I had intrusive flashes I didn’t want. I didn’t act on them, but they shook me to my core. That’s what PMDD does: it hijacks your brain and convinces you that you’re the problem.
And even though I know these thoughts are tied to biology, I still feel the shame. I still hear the whisper: You’re a terrible mother.
The Science of the Hijack
PMDD isn’t “just bad PMS.” It’s rooted in how our brains respond to normal hormone shifts in the menstrual cycle. After ovulation, estrogen and progesterone naturally rise and fall. Most people adjust smoothly. But for those of us with PMDD, the brain reacts differently — especially in areas that regulate mood, emotion, and impulse control.
Research shows:
PMDD is linked to sensitivity to progesterone and its metabolite, allopregnanolone (Allo), which normally has a calming effect. In PMDD, instead of calming, it can destabilize mood.
This sensitivity disrupts the GABA system (the brain’s main “calm-down” chemical pathway). Instead of easing anxiety, the luteal phase feels like the nervous system is on fire.
Neuroimaging suggests PMDD brains show altered activity in the amygdala (fear and anger center) and the prefrontal cortex (impulse control, rational thought) — meaning the brakes don’t work as well just when the engine is revving.
That’s why the rage feels unstoppable. That’s why intrusive thoughts crash in. It isn’t weakness — it’s the biology of a nervous system misfiring under hormone shifts.
How I Rebuild After the Wreck
Tracking & predicting. Knowing when the luteal phase is coming helps me prepare, soften my schedule, and warn my family.
Medication with intention. SSRIs (a class of antidepressants) are a frontline treatment for PMDD. Some people take them only during the luteal phase, others continuously. My doctor and I adjust my dosage for those 10 days, and it helps me get some control back.
Naming the hijack. When a thought slams in, I say: “That’s PMDD, not me.” It helps separate my identity from my symptoms.
Safety & space. When I feel unsafe in my own mind, I step away. I hand the baby to my partner. I reset. Control starts with safety.
Why I’m Sharing This
Because too many of us are told PMDD is just being “too sensitive” or “too emotional.” It’s not. It’s a neurobiological condition. It affects up to 5–8% of menstruating people, and yet so many suffer in silence.
When PMDD makes me feel out of control, the science reminds me: this isn’t my fault. Naming it makes it less isolating.
And if you ever feel like you can’t keep yourself or your child safe, please step away, call someone you trust, or reach out for immediate help.
Talk soon,
Tara
CEO of Chaos & Co.